The Worst Appliance. The Best Care.

Hello fellow owners of Refrigerators. Have you remembered to purchase Life Insurance? Refrigerators are a very dangerous household appliance and have been a leading cause of death in America since their invention in the twentieth century. While Life Insurance can't outright prevent a death from this appliance it will insure that the insured's relatives will be taken care of, and will help put them in a financially advantaged position so that they may never have to use refrigeration again. Take care of those important to you, purchase Life Insurance today.

Mattress Insurance

Hello fellow mattress owners, have you ever considered purchasing Mattress Insurance? Mattresses are prone to a variety of problems including, but not limited to sagging and bug infestation. These problems may cause discomfort when sleeping on a mattress and in extreme scenarios, cause insomnia. Mattress Insurance protects you by sending you a comfortable mattress replacement whenever your mattress becomes unsuitable to sleep on. If interested in purchasing Mattress Insurance, please PM me with your intent and a few pictures of your mattress for a price quote.

Moderator Insurance

Hello fellow Twitch Viewers. Have you remembered to purchase your Moderator Insurance? Moderators routinely ban esteemed members of Twitch without notice and within seconds so that the common viewer is unable to interact with your important messages. Buying Moderator Insurance will reimburse your message with a bot so that even if you do get banned, bots will log in on your behalf and spam the channel with your messages.  Note: failure to purchase Moderator Insurance may result in important messages not being heard by the rest of the Twitch Republic.