Showing posts with label United States of America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label United States of America. Show all posts

Saturday, September 28, 2013

How Privacy Policies Actually Read

Vaporaction's Privacy Policy



Your privacy is important to us. That is why we go through great lengths to protect it. Should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, then you can be assured that it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement.


What we collect:

·        Name and job title
·       Contact information including email address, phone number, fax number, as well as this information for at least two close relatives or friends.
·       Demographic information such as postcode, preferences and interests
·       Other information relevant to customer surveys and/or offers including, but not limited to photos of you, credit card numbers, passport(s), your social security number, and medical records.

Cookies:


Cookies are mandatory to use any of our services. Failure to enable Cookies renders the majority of our website unusable. A cookie is a small file that monitors all actions on your computer. Cookies allow us analyse web traffic, your website preferences, and at times is used to redirect traffic to our website to inflate the amount of viewers we have when our boss is on vacation. Cookies allow web applications to respond to you as an individual. The web application can tailor its operations to our needs by gathering and remembering information about your preferences. However, in practice this is all very complicated, and Cookies are actually used so we can tell our boss we were doing something productive instead of playing ping pong. Sorry for this.


Links to other websites:


Our website contains links to other websites of interest. However, once you have used these links to leave our site, you should note that we do not have any control over that other website and you will probably be invaded with various sorts of malware. This is because websites riddled with malware often pay the highest cost per click in the industry and are often unavoidable as it is very difficult for us to block these sites. Therefore, once leaving this site we cannot be responsible for your protection and privacy.

Personal Security:

In order to protect you, we give users an ability to decide how much information they would to show to the public through various options under the tab called User Settings on the top right of your screen. We collect and store all of your personal information on offline computers (including your credit card numbers and social security numbers) for an undetermined period of time so that it is very difficult to access by outsiders. 


We will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information unless we are asked very politely to do so by a hand-written letter. We will, however, use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties which we think you may find interesting regardless if you tell us that you wish this to happen. 

If you find this information incomplete or incorrect please e-mail us and we will update it within twenty-four months.

Avoiding R9K Scripts: A Guide to Free Speech.

R9K scripts are the United States of America's latest attempt to end all free speech over the internet.

R9K scripts operate by automatically filtering out any message that it considers "identical" to a previous message. Moreover, once applied to an online chat room or forum, chat administrators have very little control over what words and phrases are censored and may be to busy to remove the script. Thus, R9K scripts have the potential to ruin the lives of millions of Internet Denizens who are trying to converse but have been inadvertently been thwarted by the underhanded tactics of United States of America's government.

Luckily, there is hope. Most R9K scripts can be avoided by typing a very long random string of characters before posting each message. Doing this makes an R9K script believe you are producing non-identical content and allows you to bypass censorship. Be wary, using the same string of characters will be filtered out by the R9K script.

UPDATE: Another great way to avoid R9K scripts is to use full-width unicode characters, small caps, or non-standard characters. Many R9K scripts do not take account for these issues. For a full guide, go here: http://copypastacopypaste.blogspot.com/p/make-funny-looking-text-on-twitch.html

TV Licence Agent

Hello Esteemed Citizen of the Internets, I am currently sending you this message to remind you to purchase your TV licence. Failure to purchase a TV licence is a severe criminal offence and if caught without one, will result in a minimum $5,000 fine. Moreover, if you have not purchased this licence by using me as a middleman, I will harass both you and your family until an appropriate government agent arrests you. To avoid this fate, please send me a PM. I will be more than glad to assist you in obtaining your TV licence.