TV Licence Agent

Hello Esteemed Citizen of the Internets, I am currently sending you this message to remind you to purchase your TV licence. Failure to purchase a TV licence is a severe criminal offence and if caught without one, will result in a minimum $5,000 fine. Moreover, if you have not purchased this licence by using me as a middleman, I will harass both you and your family until an appropriate government agent arrests you. To avoid this fate, please send me a PM. I will be more than glad to assist you in obtaining your TV licence.